Dear T,
I get it now. I've lumped you into the category of people who hurt me after I let them get emotionally close. They've all left me. That's happened so many times before and my mind just assumes it will happen again. That's why I've been pushing you away and shutting down. You are too close. I am pushing you away to protect myself from more hurt.

I am scared to let you get closer, but I know progress will only come with me opening up more. I am afraid that once I open up to you, you will leave me. I didn't realize how hard this would be. I didn't know how big of an issue this was for me. You have been nothing but patient with me. You know I have to "discover" these things for myself in order for them to "stick." Please don't think I am ignoring you in sessions. I am usually listening even if I appear angry and frustrated. I just won't tell you I am listening.

Next session I want to take you out of the "you might hurt me if I let you get closer" group. I want to share. I am feeling very brave about that right now. But a week is a long time to wait...I hope I am still that brave next time I see you.