Quote:
Originally Posted by LovebirdsFlying
"...Forgiveness is for your own benefit, not the other person's." I just don't understand. "Well, you're not sorry and you don't even acknowledge you did anything wrong, but it's all OK. I'll pretend it never happened, give you a clean slate, keep you in my life, and continue to let you treat me however you're going to treat me. Then when you keep on doing the same thing, I'll just take it with a smile and act like you're not doing it, because I've forgiven you, and that means everything you do is OK. Here, I'll bend over now, and let you kick me wherever you want to." HOW is this to my advantage and not the other person's? How is it going to bring me that peace everybody keeps telling me it will?
For every one person who tells me that what the other person (my mother) did is wrong, there are dozens telling me I have to forgive "for my own benefit." They ignore, deny, or minimize the wrong that was done, and expect me to also. I just don't get it.
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I don't know about forgiveness, but I do agree that getting away from the situation is what I did. I still get very depressed, scared, & cry over the emotional scars the abuse left. I have even tried to forgive but that is when I start to feel angry so I can't forgive my dad. It might be the fact that he didn't just hurt me, he hurt others that I love. Anyway I don't know your situation but if you can just break free of it, you deserve to be treated better, you deserve the best.