hey rose, it's not cynical at all. cynicall to me is expecting a human being to overcome so much ugliness and be completely normal as if nothing happened. i agree with ptsd being a bully. it is so sneaky and evil..gets you at the most unapportunistic times and has horrible ways. i completely agree. i got through this on a daily basis...the two steps forward one back. sometimes i completely fall.
i admire your courage. i hear you and you are not alone. for me, success is about being able to see it, face it and fight it. even if i get hit. i'm beginning to find my strength. i am stubborn, i am strong. i think i went through it once, i can do it again but this time the right way. it will be ok rose. it will. these times they come but it will pass.
keep posting. keep writing. even if you don't feel like it, just write. personally i don't read if i feel triggered but it doesn't mean i don't care. others may be able to read and offer support. remember, YOU are IMPORTANT, YOU do MATTER, I CARE. i am here listening. i understand and have been there and i'm here with you. we fall, we get up and we keep going. sending you warm comforting thoughts. please be gentle with yourself.