After spending years trying to get my abusive, drug taking ex-husband to change, I realized one day that he wasn't going to. Ever. I divorced him when our baby was just 6 months old. It was one of the most traumatic times in my life.

I learnt two important lessons. One was to stop trying to change other people and the second was that he had no desire to change despite his promises.

Despite that, I do believe people can change, but it usually takes a life-changing event and of course a deep desire to want to change before the change can start.