I feel I am kind of going thru something similar with my T. I gave him a couple of monkeys a while ago, and I always hold as the "standard" of our r/s that he SAYS he doesn't want to marry me (pout!), but then he says or does other stuff, so this leaves me confused. This "marry me" is from my FOO - I am trying to figure out what it means to me IRL, or in therapy - what will it take to make me feel loved, known, secure - is secure even something I want? If finding love is going back to that infantile bliss, what if you only had infantile neglect? What do you look for then? I think wanting T to read the book is your trying to articulate those feelings you are looking for.