I agree with you all, alcohol or substance dependence holds a grip on person tighter than anything, I have seen examples of it. Addiction is a poison that can ruin love, and life. It is almost impossible for one in the grips of it to ever break free and change.

In my case, thankfully, my husband is not an addict, just a man who comes from a really screwed up past who let it consume him and manifest itself as really bad behaviors. But, the same rules apply, in order to change, someone has to want to change, you can't do it for them. My husbands life changing event has been the realization that I have left him (although we live in the same house), he lost his wife, which I believe he never thought would really happen.

Will this be enough for him to make all the right changes? I still don't know. But every day he confronts his past a little more, and is learning that it is OK to be angry, and how to accept all that has happened to him. He is finally taking responsibility for what he has done as well. I told him my hope is that some day he can feel healthy, like we all should.

I honestly don't know if I can ever reconcile, I have my own set of issues to deal with now, but it makes me happy to know that my kids will have a beter person in their life.

wounded1