Quote:
Originally Posted by unhappyguy
I suffer from complex PTSD. In non-complex PTSD, the survivor repeatedly re-lives the trauma in their thoughts. In complex PTSD, the trauma survivor has thoughts of getting back at their tormentors. In my case, I also have thoughts of friends harming me that I constantly have to cognitively challenge as being untrue.
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I'm so sorry all of us are having to deal with this. I'm really just learning...way late to the game. I guess I've been a bit 'crazy' (what my family calls it) my entire life. The problem was I never got to deal with my 'crazy' because there was always SOMEBODY around with bigger, more dangerous CRAZY that I had to deal with.
I don't 'think' I want to get back at them...I've never planned anyone's harm or demise....I have trouble letting go of them because I'm compulsive about trying to make them see a few realities and stop the abuse, but that's hopeless, all I wind up doing is *****ing and crying , being called 'crazy', then hiding. So, yeah, I guess that's the only way I have of 'getting even'.
I have tried to convince myself that some of them are not trying to harm me, that it's unrealistic that SO many in my family can be abusive brats.
But every time I do and give them another chance they lie, cheat, steal, insult or threaten all over again. I'm to the point of being afraid of just about everything.