Another good question. In the book Necessary Losses, Viorst talks about all of us wanting to get back to that infantile bliss. But if we weren't taken care of in the way a baby should have been, how do we know what "infantile bliss" is? I know that for me, it's "something" tangible I'm looking for, otherwise why would I have these powerful feelings for my Ts? I think you're right about the book. The love that the author gives the child is what I want. I wasn't abused like she was, but nevertheless, it's definitely what I want. My T knows that already. I don't know why I have to keep telling her, but I do. It's like I have to get it "out of my system". Not the need for the love, but the talking about it and how I feel to get it from my T or not get it from her.