When I was first diagnosed I read lots of books about BPD. I learned what to look out for in my own behavior. That helped because I could recognize the key words in my thinking, like "never" and "always" indicate that I am slipping into black and white thinking. But after a while reading books about BPD was like reading the same thing over and over and there was no use in it. I now find reading inspirational books works much better for me. I prefer books on Taoism because they focus on living in the present. Focusing on the simple things in life which of course is sooooo very important for people who suffer circular thinking patterns that spiral into the past.

The most important thing is to realize this is a tough illness and it takes practice, practice, practice to make our learned new behaviors become second nature. What we are trying to do is to form new neural pathways in the brain. The younger you start the process the easier it is, but the brain is and incredible thing and continues changing throughout our intire life so even those of us who are older and create these new pathways. Think of it as wagon tracks in your head. The new tracks are still covered in grass and hard to find. The old tracks are well worn and just suck your thoughts along. So it takes sheer effort to use the new ones. But as you use the new pathways more and more the grass gets beaten down and the path is easier to follow. Meanwhile the grass starts growing on the old pathways and we are less likely to follow them. Unfortunately I have found that the ruts in the old pathways are deep and even though the grass has grown if I accidently get on the path it is hard to get my wagon wheels out of the the ruts. For me I find that xanax helps. My doctor has given me a very small supply of them to use only when I absolutely need to. It stops my brain for a few hours then as it wears off I am usually able to get back on the new road. But I have been doing this work for years and years so an occasional medicinal help works for me. It takes absolute dedication the the process to make it work.

Zen