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Old Apr 26, 2012, 04:34 AM
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skysblue skysblue is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,885
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue View Post
Skysblue, what struck me in your posts was that perhaps this "rupture" has came at an opportune time for you, it gives you the excuse to emotionally distance yourself from your therapist at a time when she was leaving for vacation. I wonder whether you've been subconsciously trying to detach from her anyway in order to cope with her vacation? Cancelling your appointment is perhaps you retreating to safety from the perceived abandonment of her forgetting something so important and the impending physical abandonment of her vacation but also there's maybe an element of "punishing" her for forgetting.

Could the strong reaction you are having be tapping into a past hurt where one of your caregivers made you feel like they'd forgotten you?

Realistically, i think you know your therapist had a momentary lapse in concentration, perhaps due to tiredness, to personal issues, to just too much on her mind. She hasn't abandoned you, she made a mistake, she's human and she's fell off that pedestal you had her on

She sounds like she cares for you and you for her and i think that's worth honouring, and giving her another chance. I think there could be valuable learning in this rupture.

I hope you feel better about it all soon x
Asiablue - you have given me something to think about. Before I began reacting to her forgetting, I had begun to believe that T can't really help me anymore with my depression - that it's beyond anyone's ability. That I should not expect so much from her. There are some things in life that cannot be solved.

Then I remembered her 'abandonment' comment (her forgetting) and later I remembered a couple of other things she forgot about me that came up in session.

So, I guess you may be right that my reaction is an attempt to push her away and not give her anymore power to hurt me. I've been hurt badly in the past but by working with her on it, I was able to finally see my own dysfunctional reactions at work.

But this one feels differently somehow. It seems more real. It's not all in my mind. It isn't subject to interpretation. It is a fact that she forgot.
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