Quote:
Originally Posted by 2or3things
I'm SO here right now, Earthmamma, and I absolutely hate it. I'm sorry it's so difficult for you.
I'm not sure if you're talking about unmet needs from childhood, but if you are...my T would probably say that you have to fully mourn the original losses (the fact that you didn't get those particular needs met when you should have by the people you should have). She's been saying that to me for 3 years, and I've been doing everything I can to avoid it, all while trying, unsuccessfully, to get those needs met elsewhere. It's a recipe for frustration and sadness and anger and all sorts of thing, but definitely not mental health. 
So the problem, I guess, is that we have to let go of the need first, or at least turn it into something that is doable and appropriate for this stage in our lives. Until we can do that, trying to give up the behavior of seeking it out really won't work.
It sucks. But I suppose it's also true.
Hang in there. Stuff's gotta get better if we keep at it, right? |
yes what you say is so true. As i was reading your reply my thoughts were, but what you are doing is so wrong or is that you enjoy doing it but are beating yourself up for that?
These things are so complex aren't they? as you begin to untangle one thing another comes into play. Perhaps this is why T says, "we talk about them".
But yes I think part of maintaining old ways is because of the fear of mourning, which T says isn't really anything to be afraid off, unless one has had many yrs of avoiding doing so.