bathony i believe you. you do matter, and us here we do care. you do deserve to be heard and cared. i'm so sorry there was nobody to protect you when you were being hurt, it was wrong and you did NOT deserve that. you're friend doesn't sound very understanding, it's not you it's you friend who's wrong. i'm so sorry.
you know, i don't know if this helps, my stepfather abused me and i told and it didn't help any. he never served a day in jail. nothing. sometimes telling doesn't really do anything. i'm sorry. i've been in your situation, i still my stefather, my mom is still with him, he's always around kids but i had to learn and understand i did what i could, his actions are not my responsibility. you do not have to take responsibility for something HE is. especially if it is unsafe for you to do so. i'm so sorry you are struggling. i'm here for you, please keep posting. you are important.