thank you for hugs rose. di meliora and open eyes thank you. i guess i just needed to be heard. i think this is part of the ptsd. it has to be or else it wouldn't be such a big deal for me right? i know you are not therapist, i'm not looking for therapy, just need to be heard. maybe some suggestions. yea i've been trying to look for a new group. i have issues. just wanted to feel some support. thank you. i appreciate it. i know neither i, nor you or anyone else for that matter can do anything about it, that's what makes my fight so hopeless. therapist issues don't help. hanging in there, no worries. just gotta hang for a little bit, i'm sure it will pass. thanks anyways.