Hi friend~Sounds like you've had some tough situations in your life and they're definitely taking their toll on you. And, I think it would definitely be helpful to consider some counseling. Is that something you've looked into? I know it's a hard step to take, but it's amazing what a difference it can make. And, I think a professional could help you learn to cope with your pain and deal with the problems in your life in a more constructive manner. So, I'd really encourage you to pursue that. If finances may be keeping you from that, I know from my time at Focus on the Family that you can receive free counseling over the phone (1-855-771-HELP). Just something to keep in mind. Lastly, if you have a moment, you might want to visit Focus' website and search for their information on self-injury. I know they have some articles on the topic and maybe it will help you understand a little more why you do this? Well, you'll be in my prayers. Don't hesitate to reach out for some help-you're not alone!