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Apr 26, 2012, 11:35 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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You're in a tough spot. I think I can understand. But I think I KNOW what I'd do too. I'd stay with my husband.
You haven't said if there are any children iinvolved. If there are THEY are your first responsibility. They deserve to have their dad because this is NOT their fault. Breaking up the home would be devastating to them, especially siince you say that you still love their father. But I won't get into that since I don't even know IF you have kids.
Secondly you've only really had the affair with this guy for a few months. Sure, you knew him before that as "friends" but things didn't get heavy until recently. You're still on your "honeymoon." This isn't always going to be like this. You will get into the "doldrums" with HIM too. Life doesn't STAY exciting even with your lover. You say you have lots in common with this guy but I'm sure you do with your husband too or you wouldn't have married him. It's just that you've let your marriage get stale!  It doesn't have to STAY stale. You can spice it up.
Like you said, your husband doesn't deserve this since he's such a nice guy. And why can't you ask him to do things differently in the bedroom? That's what partners are SUPPOSED to do!! He's not a mind-reader -- he can't know what you want unless you tell him! So TELL him what you want in bed. You'll both be happier in the sex department cause then HE will feel more comfortable telling you what HE wants. 
And if there are other things in the marriage that are 'wrong' then get some counseling -- but don't put an end to a 10 year relationship and an 18month marriage just because you got it on with some "friend." This guy obviously isn't much of a friend to your husband.  How does your husband feel about you spending so much time with this guy? It would seem that it would hurt him.  He's probably too nice a guy to say anything.
Please -- don't break up your marriage for this. It won't last, believe me. You've got a GREAT guy in your husband. Not many would put up with this "friend" of yours. You're a lucky woman. Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee
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