I was in a situation that is extremely close to yours...I'm only now beginning to recover from it.

I have dysthymia, & I've had it since probably late grade school. definitely @ least early high school. I was really psyched about going to university & first yr was great, but then came 2nd yr, & the hugest mistake I could have ever made.

It was in 2nd yr that I really started noticing something really wasn't right w/me...I even went to a counsellor a few times. I thought that I was depressed because I hadn't picked the right major for me. Turned out it was the opposite: I assumed I was depressed for picking the wrong major, but really, depression was clouding my judgement to begin with.

So here's what happened: I dropped out of school & went back to my crappy hometown to live w/my wonderfully frustrating & emotionally unsupportive family, to work a dead-end job while I tried to sort things out. Then I searched through other programs & applied to another university program & quit after a semester. Then I got a referral to counselling & my counsellor helped me to figure out what I just told you above: my depression had been getting the better of me when I went to university the first time. I used the counsellor as a sounding board & she said, yes, I think you are still interested in this program & you like this program still etc so I think you should try to go back & finish it (which is what I was considering @ that point).

So, I re-applied, & got re-accepted to the first program I was in, & am going back in the fall. But I "wasted" a good 3 YEARS of my life working said dead end job & living w/unsupportive family. So you can see how flawed my logic was @ the time: let's get out of the place we liked & hang out w/the unsupportive family and crappy town that triggers our depression. Anyway, I guess you could say that it wasn't technically a waste of time because perhaps I needed that amount of time before I was ready to see a therapist & confront things etc.

But the main point is: it was 3yrs of my life that I couldn't get back...& it was only in the last yr that I began to change things. I would really hate for the same thing to happen to you...it sucks like you would not believe. I refer to the period in my life that I just came out of as The Black Hole. Because I really don't know what the hell happened to me in it! I was living my life but MIA @ the same time! I was lost & I didn't even know it!

You are really lucky that you have such a good b/f who is concerned about you! I would definitely seek some counselling, if I were you. It could be depression making you feel the way that you do about your major. Or it could be that you really don't like your major. But you need time to sort out everything that's going on & to be able to see it clearly. And a professional could help you w/that. Maybe even if you just stayed in the same city & took a semester off & did some counselling. Or switched to part-time studies & did some counselling. At least then, if you realize that you do want to stay in your major, you'll still be in the game. I really do not want you to go through the same thing I did! It is NOT fun.