I know I posted a reply earlier but it's not here now. And now I'm not in the mood to talk at length like I had. I have so many things going on in my life right now and I just can't put one foot in front of another anymore. When I was young it was easier to work hard because it was the only way to avoid the abuse, but not anymore. Now it's just day to day life and I'm no longer strong, nor can I keep looking forward. It's over for me, I'm sure...