|
He sent an image of me with another model, from a shoot that he chaperoned me on, to my current partner stating:
"Do you realise your other half is shooting porn?"
Knowing full well that the image was not pornographic, it was a Creative, Fine Art image involving two female models.
He seemed to think that my current partner would blow his top about it, confront me and we'd fall apart. Quite the opposite. He asked me if I'd ever done a shoot with another model, I said yes, on two or three occasions. He explained why and showed me the image. I explained that said image had actually been put into an exhibition and placed highly in the competition. Had it been pornography, that would not have happened. Before I even explained it, he said it was not pornographic, it did not bother him, nor did it make him judge me in any other way - just feel somewhat sorry for David for feeling he had to go to such extremes to try to hurt me. He actually liked the image, said it was one of the better images I have shot.
I am a model. He knows this and accepts it. He is a photographer. I know that and accept it. Simple. David doing what he did was childish and spiteful, it was completely pointless and got him nowhere apart from causing embarrassment to himself.
Funnily enough, the first thing my partner did when I found out about the image and hit a bit of a low because I'd thought that david was better than that, was cuddle me. He sat me down and wrapped his arms around me. That was just what I needed, without even asking him to do it, I got exactly what I needed.
It baffles me why David is doing this. What is he gaining? I'm not reacting in any way, I'm not retaliating by doing the same kind of thing to him and trying to tarnish his name. I'm keeping things low and leaving things to settle down. What's the point in trying to kick up the dust and unsettle everything when we both agreed that we just needed time and space to heal?
OK, I get that I'm now in a new relationship and yes I know people think it's too soon, but believe you me, I had no idea it would happen. In fact, I was totally against getting into anything at all. I said to every male who gave any kind of a sign of interest, that I was NOT looking for a relationship, I did NOT want to get involved with anyone and I just wanted to be on my own, settling into being myself again, enjoying my life for what it is. It just so happened that my new partner and I found it leap on our backs when we least wanted/expected it to. It was happily accepted of course...
I know that David is unhappy that I am moving on, that I am being strong and getting on with the rest of my life when he can't...
I'm tired of the games, I really am. I'm just trying to put everything right in my life. Is that such a bad thing?
|