Ive done some things i thought id never do. I lost my virginity to someone i love. got angry and kissed another guy(this was last year before i became a total screw up.)Since then ive dated three other guys that werent right for me. i like i let guys treat me like crap because thats what i am and how i feel. i stated smoking at first from curiousity then stress. i guess i really just hate myself and need someone who dosent know me to talk to as weird and stupid as it may be