(((((Skysblue)))) It feels like we could be twin sisters right now!!!

You are entitled to feel all these emotions. And you have a right to have a voice in how this impacted you. I love the reply your T gave you! That is what makes a T a T and not a friend. A friend would say "So I forgot something!" ((Well, my friend would)). But a T tells us that we have a right to our feelings. And that is the healthy response.

This hit you in a tender spot. And I get it because my T has asked me stuff that we went over in session many times! In fact, a good part of the session we had today (which I considered to be a WONDERFUL session) was actually T asking me questions about details from the trauma work we have been doing. He wanted to be sure his notes had ages of certain things happening and such.

This is not the first time we have had review sessions. And yes, my T has asked me the same questions several different time. At first it hurt me so deeply! I felt "I opened up and showed you all my pain and my heart and you don't even remember why I sat there in agony in your office bawling my eyes out!!"

What I am learning is that yes, a T is a human and does mess up. And some Ts are better at certain things than other Ts. Some Ts have the memory of an elephant! In fact, if I were a T, I would probably remember all the details about all the clients because that is how my brain works with auditory memory. Kinda like a photographic memory except with sounds. In fact, I have brought up stuff my T shared with me about himself and T was kinda shocked I remembered it!

But I would be no match for my T's skill at being a T in the session with a client. That man is THERE. He is fully with me for every tear. His whole heart is with me. And I would not be able to be a T like that - or not THAT good! So I know that Ts are just like other people, they have strong points and weak points. My T is not good with facts. Your T is not good with facts. It can cause problems for clients. But our Ts are GREAT with being honest and being real.

After I thought about this when the pain was hot about a year ago from something my T forgot, I realized that I didn't want a tape recorder for a therapist. It was OK for me to be upset when my T didn't remember something I felt was important. And it was OK and SAFE for me to talk with my T about it. And it was OK for my T to appologize if needed. But the bottom line for me is that the relationship I have with my T is something I want to enjoy and work through in a positive way. It teaches me about relationships and how to be in one in a healthy way. And a big part of that is the ability to go easy on others who will have different skills than I do. To not toss out the relationship and the great healing one can bring just because the skill of remembering details may not be as good as I have or what I would like.

I hope this helps you out some. Big hugs!!!