((((Chibi)))),

I am sorry that you are struggling so much right now. Please don't give up, you CAN work through this. You have a difficult past and have done a lot in spite of it. You CAN get through this.

Do you have a therapist to work with? That is really what you need, someone who can validate you, listen and help you through this. I have a T myself, took me time to find one that I could afford. But it really helps.

Welcome to PC. Keep coming and sharing, we are all struggling as well, and there are good people here that are very kind and supportive.

((((Hugs)))
Open Eyes