It's possible that something happened to his phone or he went out of town unexpectedly, but not likely.

About a month ago I sent him an email on a Friday evening. I big, please respond email. When he got back to me on the following Tuesday he said that he had received my email on Friday. So I know he gets the email or message in a timely manner. I mean, as a therapist would you go 24 hours without checking your voicemail and/or email?

So part of me wonders if he dicking around with me because my mother was narcissistic and I'd been dicked around with a lot in my life. It's definitely a cognitive pattern that I struggle to correct.

But what if the lack of contact IS intentional? I know people here have asked that question many times over in relation to their own Ts. It's crazy-making.

And add to that -- this last session T was trying to get me to acknowledge that my "take" on some of the things H does could/are actually correct and that I should trust myself when I sense that something is "off." In fact, the pendulum swings the other way too often -- I'm so afraid of my perceptions being tainted by my background and ingrained patterns that I usually don't trust my gut/intuition.

So you have him working with me to trust my gut/intuition -- and then I'm left hanging, in a sense, by all of this. And I try to be reasonable about it and ask him for a reply, partly because I need to prove to myself that he is NOT gaslighting me. So if he calls or sends a brief email I can say, "Okay, okay, your perception WAS off this time and he really is who he says he is. You can start to trust that now."

And then maybe everything I've just written above is part of some cognitive distortion that I'm (shamefully) not aware of.

Ugh!