Well ladies, I had my physical today. It was pretty awful.

She did a pap smear, only my second one ever, and it hurt a lot, and I had some bleeding afterwards.

She also found a lump in my breast. I am trying my hardest to not freak out over that, but it's hard. She's faxed off the requisition to the lab thatt does them to book me a mammogram and an ultrasound, so now I have to wait for them to call me with an appointment time. I didn't like that she wrote urgent on the fax - it made it seem scarier.

She's concerned about the chest pain I'm having. I'm 99% sure it's stress, but because I'm overweight and on a ton of medications, she wants a full cardio workup.

She's also ordered an ECG and a slew of bloodwork.

Oh and apparently I'm starting menopause, blech. I kind of knew that already, but she pretty much confirmed it, and she started talking about a topical hormonal replacement cream. The good news is I don't seem to be having any hot flashes yet.

I'm glad I went for the physical and that she's ordered additional tests - it's just all kind of overwhelming, and I feel really old, all of a sudden and like it's all downhill from here.

But I'm profoundly grateful that I live in a country with public health insurance so I'm able to access high quality care without having to worry about paying for it.

Trying very hard not to freak out about the lump.

splitimage