Hmm, I think part of the problem lies with your husband desiring the people in the video themselves. When I have asked others about their habits when it comes to porn, they usually state that while watching, they still keep an image of their current boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife (unless they are single). Instead of imagining being with the person on the film, they are using the porn to help with the mental images of being with their partner.

Try speaking with a therapist about this. He should not be treating you as such but this may be signs of more issues in the relationship than what is apparent.
Have you tried sitting down and just talking with him about the whole matter? It might also be some stresses going on in his work or something that may be distressing him and making him lash out a bit. If so, what did he say and how did you interpret what he said?

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, I hope you find the help you need and are able to work through this.