It sounds really difficult for you, to be having these thoughts. Is there anything in particular that she says that leads you to these thoughts? Anything in her tone of voice, or mode of expression? I really don't think that therapists are the kind of people who would want to trick their clients, and I'm sure that you're not in the least evil... but the feeling comes from somewhere, so I'm wondering if it's some involuntary thing she does that triggers the feeling in you.