Hi BD....I'm not a sufferer of bipolar but I'm compelled to say hi. Sorry to hear the about your personal strife and the rough relationship with your father. My Dad suffered from depression and a likely mood disorder when he was young as well. It was never treated and my relationship with him was strained.

I do wonder though how readily available treatment was back when these men were young. I mean it must have been limited for the most part even if one lived in a fairly major city. Services just didn't exist like today. And years ago most people, especially men, would rather anything than admit to something 'mental' That's the way it was...it's a lot better now but people still create a stigma concerning mental health. That's a sad thing.

Anyway BD, I think I've been able to cut my dad some slack. He terrified me for years but after his passing my aunts told me a little about his development as a child and young man. One aunt was a nurse for nearly 50 years and she damn well knew something was up with him. My mom died before I grew up really so I had no real way to learn much about the man. I still have my days where I curse his memory but I don't believe now he was intentionally cruel. These men were victims of the times and their illnesses just as much as we were victims thereof. Readily dependable effective treatment wasn't as simple to come by. Even today in many places, accessing proper mental health care can be a challenge. Is that fair to say?

I think it's normal to retain a hot cold love hate memory of my father. when I'm stressed I'm probably more likely to damn him but when I'm stable I just feel sorry for him and it's easier to forgive. I just had to say that. And nice to meet you too BD. I hope I've made some sense and wasn't out of line. I'm pretty tired but when I just saw you mentioning your dad I had to speak. I'm glad that like me you can feel forgiveness at times. Take care ok?