Ok, well ya we aren't allowed to give numbers because it does trigger behavior for people.

I don't know your height either so sizes don't really help much either. But you know how to check your BMI or to ask your dr what a healthy weight for someone you age and height is. Sizes don't matter that much cause you know, I'm five feet tall, I am not going to be the same size as someone who is 5'8. Going even slightly into the underweight zone had immediate health consequences.

What I'm concerned about is that you are engaging in behavior that is completely unhealthy and dangerous for your body. And more worrying is that you are engaging the whole thought process behind it too. What a dangerous combination.

It really is like playing with fire. No one wins this unless they stop and get out of the game. When you or if you reach your goal size, then what? Do you think you will feel satisfied and content? Cause you probably won't. It will always be more more more. I'm not speaking from any judgment either, I've been doing this almost my entire life. I just don't wish anyone else to go down this path, it's extremely hard to make a comeback.

If your dr thinks you are bulimic why on earth did he give you diet pills? Talk about adding fuel to the fire. The thing with these disorders is that it isn't all about size and weight. It's mostly about thought process and disordered thinking.

What do you think is driving this, is it self esteem, worth, appearance, or is there more going on behind this. That's what you need to look at. For me it's a few compounded issues. I'm a perfectionist, I use my food as a means for control, and it's also an esteem and self worth problem. I started when I was five, for control, I had a very hard abusive childhood and I felt like I could control one thing and that was food. Then it grew, listening to my father constantly criticizing my mother and sister over their exess weight. I got the message loud and clear ~ worth comes from weight. The perfectionism comes into play too, I'm not going to fail at anything, not anorexia, not anything. Knowing what is your driving force is the very heart of the matter, I can build my self esteem, but I still desire control, I also have bipolar, which takes away my feeling of control.. That feeds into my need to restrict my diet. From all I've read there is usually more going on than just feeling fat.

So what do you think your reasons are behind this? Because no matter how much you weigh unless you fix these underlying problems the feelings attached won't leave, even when you reach that goal.