Another thought, have you considered anxiety meds? When anxiety is that strong, they can be a lifesaver especially in provoking situations. I have used them all my adult life, but only when needed; job interviews, dr. appts., etc. If your T can't prescribe them, a family dr. can, mine did. Now one caution is you can't take them every day because eventually they won't work as well, your body will adjust and you will need more and more, and you definitely want to avoid that. But they certainly can take the edge off when anxiety inteferes with your ability to function in the outside world...take care and don't be so hard on yourself, there are so many that share your situation; I understand completely and wish you all the best