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Apr 29, 2012, 12:01 AM
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: Fringes of the bell-shaped curve
Posts: 779
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Hello, Cduhan. No, just wanting to live is not too much to ask for. I think your seeking out assistance from a therapist in sorting out your feelings and examining the dynamics of your relationship is a very wise move - but please be patient - therapy is a process that takes time, patience, and dedication. It would probably be a good idea to have your regular doctor do a complete physical exam, as well, to rule out any of a number of medical conditions that can produce the symptoms you have described.
Since you're just at the very beginning of this endeavor and you haven't been able to really pinpoint the relevant issues just yet, there really isn't much advice to be offered at this point. Just give yourself credit for acknowledging that you have a problem and are being proactive in seeking help in identifying, understanding, and finding ways to resolve it. Also, don't fall into the trap of the "blame-game" - it's not about assigning fault, it's about finding solutions and getting the information and treatment you need to help you become the person you want to be and have the fulfilling life you desire.
Forget words like "fault," "blame," "deserve," etc. - they will not serve you well, and replace them with the concept of taking personal responsibility for and being proactive about improving your physical and psychological well-being. Treat yourself with the same acceptance, consideration, compassion, respect, and encouragement that you would afford a good friend struggling with such issues. We all must evolve beyond the counterproductive "blame/guilt/punishment" mindset and perspective if any of us are ever to be able to effect real, positive, constructive changes in our lives to the benefit of others and ourselves.
Posting here at PC is a good step in the right direction, as well. There are many kind, caring, knowledgable, and experienced people here ready and willing to provide whatever information, support, and encouragement they can through this process.
Take good care of yourself. lynn09
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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