Quote:
Originally Posted by acrosstheborderline
I have a little boy age five with autism , and hes very closely bonded to me . Today he is at his father's place. He didnt want to talk to me on this phone this morning . This I found unsual for he always would normaly talk to me on the phone . I know he doesnt always want to talk on the phone and that includes other family members too . I felt my heart sank when my x husband said he didnt want to come to the phone . I went on fearing hes going to make my day really hard with his anger problems and cause alot of stress to me. I also felt gulity for argueing with his father and crying over issues of previous abuse in front of our son. I went on to feel depressed and anxious for hours on end. I decided to find his dvd player and fix it up so its going again . I rang my x to talk to my son , I told him I had some good news about his dvd and he was pleased. He went on tell me hes not happy about not going with his father today to melbourne . I worked out he wasnt angry with me at all . I sometimes misjudge people about how they are feeling towards me when they are in a bad mood. I often think its because of me , sometimes it is and sometimes its not . This also affects my mood too . Do others have this problem as well , do know its apart of borderline personality .  |
I'm certainly not as knowledgeable as a lot of the people here, but it sounds like it might be a part of it to me. Negative interpretation of someone else's (seemingly rejecting) behavior, jumping to conclusions about it, having it escalate in your mind and become crushing - having it torment you and affect your self-worth until that person tells you it's okay. (Although it's naturally going to bother anyone if it's her son and there's that kind of arrangement.)
When people show any negativity around me that doesn't have a clear focus, I automatically assume it's directed at me and that I've somehow failed, made a mistake, or that they've decided they can't stand me. Then that becomes something like, "Well, of course they're upset at me/dislike me. Who wouldn't? I'm repulsive and pathetic." So that translates to feeling that I'm "bad" and worthless. It's like the formation of a tornado or something.
I think Carrie Ann's suggestion is excellent, and it's a course of action I've replied upon many times. I try to check myself with my one and only trusted friend and ask her if I'm out of line, misinterpreting, etc. Because I find that I just don't know what to do with people or how to react to them - and that my reactions/instincts are often destructive and counterproductive, even though I only want to be close.