((((unhappyguy)))),

I am sorry to hear you are still struggling my friend. I DO think that the advice for you to stay away from the legal atmosphere is good advice. I also know that with PTSD it can be very hard to think about what one wants to do and even have drive to move forward in SOME kind of direction. I think it is the nature of the disorder itself.
I know that with everything I have been dealing with, it has put a tremendous strain on my PTSD too.

As far a therapist is concerned, they have a limit to their ability to help as they can't tell us what kind of job to pick or how to get out of financial difficulty. Their job is to help us HELP ourselves. The bottom line is that WE have to do the work, and I know it is a challenge with the lack of direction that comes with PTSD.

I am REALLY sorry that you are in many ways still being harassed by the cruel employers from your past. I can relate to how that feels, though my situation is a little different, the emotional strain is the same. I do get very frustrated and angy about that as well, so I understand where you are coming from.

Well, what to do about somehow setting that all aside and find your way to thriving.
That is what a therapist is there for unhappyguy. Any therapist will lean toward trying to help you let go of that somehow and to focus on continuing to find your way forward. And I know that is a daunting task, I deal with that myself and I admit that in many ways I still feel somewhat lost. In my own recovery, I am just entering the stage of grieving and my therapist has told me that each of us is different in the length of time it takes to move through the stages. And in your case, even my case, it often feels like we are in limbo because a trama is still looming.

Somehow, you have to try to forget your age and turn your focus on what you have that you CAN do. And I can see that you have been trying to do that by taking courses in restructuring your approach to the employment field. I know you are trying and it hasn't been easy. Maybe you should investigate SSDI as you DO have a diagnosis and it IS known that PTSD is a challenge when it comes to being able to work and maintain being gamefully employed.

Personally, I often wonder if the PTSD I deal with would be easier to focus on and work through if I wasn't constantly reminded of the bad situation that presented the condition to begin with. And yes, I am still trapped in that, and struggling along.

With your diagnosis of epilepsy as well, that is another challenge and I think it may be time to evaluate if filing for SSDI would be the best option right now. I understand that the medication for that is making it harder as I was on Klonopin for a while which is a medication also used for epilepsy and I struggled on that medication as well, and felt just like you are discribing here. And I also think you should investigate if the medication you are taking for the epilepsy interupts with being able to produce serotonin as well. I have just found out that Klonopin seems to interupt with this process, Ugh, no wonder I was often so depressed on it. You may need additional medication that makes up for that if your medication does in fact affect that. As you know, we have to stay on top of our own health and be our own advocates. Wow, I have I learned that in spades.

unhappyguy, you are a good person, who, unfortunately got tangled up with a bunch of sharks that don't care about anyone but themselves. And these types of toxic entities have a very good source of knowledge in how to protect and defend their toxic behavior patterns. You truely deserve to find a way to distance yourself completely from them and move on. Your priority is to find some kind of SAFE lifestyle where you can focus on your own sense of psychological health that is away from any continuation of battling with these toxic type people. And if you DO work towards that goal, even if with all your physical issues, requires you to seek SSDI, then you should pursue that WITHOUT guilt or feeling that you are in anyway a failure. You simply have to do whatever you need to do to ensure YOUR sense of safety and psychological well being.

((((Hugs and support for you to give yourself permission to do what is necessary to take care of YOU)))))
Open Eyes