Hello, I understand that our MIs (and humanity?) makes us self hating and critical much of the time. I am a guy, and older, but can relate to what you say. I was depressed as a teen and didn't understand dating at all, and because of that I never had a girlfriend until I was 19 or 20. And the first few tries didn't go particularly well.... But perhaps that's a story for another post. I guess I'm just saying I can relate with being young and not being able to cope with dating. I did get better with practice, as I trust you will too.

As for your question, why do I do this? I don't think you really did anything wrong or bad. You had had some drinks, you are young, you are trying to figure out the whole dating/boyfriend thing... Try to give yourself a break, you are learning. I know it's hard to be patient and kind with ourselves, but we deserve it. You deserve it!

And I definitely agree with Lynn, it's probably better not to hide from this. If he does contact you try to be honest and say you aren't interested. The direct approach is always hard (at least for me), but I find it the best way to communicate with people.

Thanks so much for posting this, I hope you are able to not worry so much.