I have a problem with expressing myself, what I think and what I feel, clearly to my partner. Even when I think before replying on how to phrase what I want to say so that any misunderstanding is avoided and so that I sound respectful and caring, I often manage to confuse or insult my partner, or come across as disrespectful, or as if I didn't care about the relationship or other issue at hand. This is what I'm told and, upon reflection, I often have to agree with it -- the problem is that I'm not aware of this *at the time I'm phrasing my answer*. The problem is often aggravated by me not understading what my partner means, even when talking about some trivial things.

My question is, can you recommend any books which could help me? I'm not interested in books which focus on business communication, or on general "how to fix your relationship" books -- I know what I need to say, just often manage to make a complete mess when phrasing and saying it.

Any advice will be most welcome, the problem is a major pain.