Onward Towards What?
"I"know why you're sharing it.Because you didn't
stand up for yourself,because you betrayed your own dearest self.I did
that too,for years and years and years . . . until,I got in touch with my
anger.But paralell with that I studied particular books on SELF-ESTEEM,
and ASSERTIVENESS-TRAINING.These informed me that I was WORTH
standing up for.Until you know THAT,you will be pushed around without
mercy. Yes,I too am idealistic,can be warm+tender+kind+generous+loyal+
loving.But now,If anyone tries to sully or wound that beauty in me,I won't
be long in letting them know, "I DON'T TAKE ****!"
I have no wish to harm
you(been harmed too much myself),but I must point out that for many
years (although it was true),I kept telling myself that "that" wasn't me,I
was artistic and gentle,I didn't like talking like "them." Truth to tell,I had a
FEAR at my very core through being physically abused as a child. And it
is THAT that I had to overcome---and I have.So,it may be deeply embedded in you, I don't know.
But one way or another,you MUST build up
your self-esteem,learn assertiveness,get to like the self,respect the self,
(including in your self-talk).You are going to die some day,let it be that
when that day comes,you can tell yourself "I stood up for you,I DID respect you, because you were WORTH IT!
If any of this has a positive
effect on you,and you feel like doing something about yourself,message
me and I'll give you the titles of some brilliant books,and you can stand
on the shoulders of giants.
Finally,I leave you with a quote you could live
by:"In order to love one's self,one must behave in ways one can admire."
Kind of says it all,doesn't it?
Deepest Respect+Kindness,
BLUEDOVE