Hey haier. I'm sorry for your and your sister's loss. You both are trying so hard, going to two groups. I find real life groups difficult also, I kinda prefer PC, where you select members from all over the world. I feel I have run up against the same things as you describe, in a way, with my friends - if their kids have issues, they don't really want to hear anything from me about my mother. But I can tell they're not even hearing me, they're thinking about their own stuff. Anyway, have you tried ACOA or any other AA related groups? Sometimes those are depressing too, but there is less crosstalk (advice)?