Dear T,
The deeper I dig the less in control I feel of my thoughts and emotions. The si and sui thoughts seem to randomly pop into my head the last two months. That is why I put up the "I can't" wall. That is why I've been placing you in the same category as everyone else who's hurt me and left me. I am scared. I am scared of losing control. I am scared of letting you get closer. I am scared of digging any deeper. Since our last session I've been all over the emotional scale again. It's really difficult for me to answer the question "What do you want to talk about today" because life and my emotions have been so mixed up since I last saw you. I could take the entire session just telling you how mixed up I've been.