I've been noticing lately that I've gotten really quiet. I just don't like to talk anymore. It makes me really uncomfortable because my family will try and talk to me but I don't really have anything to say. I don't want to upset them, I've always been pretty sensitive and I'm super afraid of hurting peoples feelings, so I try to talk, but everything I say just seems so meaningless.

I have a really good online friend, but I stop talking to her for months at a time. Each time it gets harder and takes longer for me to talk to her again. It has nothing to do with her, she is really great. The bestest friend I've had in a really long time. But I just can't seem to talk to her anymore, and I'm really afraid I'm going to lose her with my horrid treatment.

I think maybe I'm trying to push everyone away. When my dad died it was like some one ripped me apart and I've never been the same since. I think I'm afraid of that happening again so I'm pushing everyone I love away. I'm so lonely, and no one I know seems to make it better.

I used to think I was lonely because it was just me and my mom, but my sister recently moved in with her two kids and my other sister visits everyday with her two kids. I still hide in my room most of the day. I visit a little more, but I'm still terribly lonely even when they are in the same room.

I think I have depression. I've read about it and have all the signs but one. But sometimes I doubt that I have it because I have days where I seem really happy, or maybe its just days where I can ignore the problem really well. I figure maybe someone will have some useful advise if I post here.