((((Puzzle))))

Sorry you are losing so much time and are so lost. We do hear you and you are not alone. For me, I too lose time and it is frustrating and makes you feel like you are losing it. When I lose time I feel embarrassed especially when things happen that I cannot explain and cannot remember.

I do have more co-consciousness now and that has helped but it took a long time to get that. But I still lose time especially around times that we are triggered or anniversary dates. It is frustrating and leaves you in the dark. Many have mentioned taking meds. I do not take any as my Psychiatrist is unsure who is taking them and who is not. But meds work different for each person.

I do not know any other people with DID in my real life either. And it is hard trying to tell or explain what is going on. I too try but I feel like no one really gets it at times when the blankness comes and I am asked questions. I do try to stay in the moment as much as possible but sometimes those moments seem to never come.

Practicing grounding and mindfulness helps at times when I can get there. It is important to tell your t the best you can because as others have said if they do not know they cannot help you. I know it is hard to talk to them when there is not a lot you can tell but it at least gives them some idea where we are at.

I know it is hard and sometimes that feeling of wanting to explode, to just disappear so I do not have to try to explain to anyone what is going on because many times there are no words, not any that make sense anyway. But at least try.

Each person is different so please do not hate that you do not know. We have all gone through that at some time and it can and will get better as you learn to trust yourself and your system. And they are also having to learn to trust us and it takes time, out a long trying to trust others in our life. Many never learned to trust, but that can come slowly as we begin to trust ourselves. That alone is a very hard one for myself and those within.

Those within had a job and they only know what they know. Can you try to start communicating with them? Slowly as it does not happen over night. I started with a bulletin board within and start leaving messages for those within and asked that they write back there. That I wanted to hear them. It took a while to get answers but now we use it a lot more.

Also, I have many journals, many have their own and they can write in those leaving me messages or writing their feelings or what they did that day. It took some time but now I can read them and it helps. I at first let them write and if they wanted me to read it to leave it in a place that I would know. I have tried to give them space and let them know that I respected them and would read if they wanted me to.

It has taken a long time to get to this place, but starting is what helped. Those within never learned to trust either and as with me, trust is hard and takes time to get to. But it will happen as you keep working towards being able to connect with the inside. There is still some that are too afraid to be heard but I do acknowledge that and let them know when they are ready it is there for them too.

We did not get this way over night and it takes to get better. It took me years to get the co-consciousness we have and still at times it feels like there is not much. You will get there too. Give yourself permission to have that time. Keep posting here how you are doing and reaching out. We do care and are here for you. Hugs if okay.

dps