One of my biggest problems is maintaining relationships past a few months. I get bored and move on. It happens all the time. I really dont want to lose her. She means so much to me. If ever there was "the one" she is it. A part of me knows that I should break up with her, but for the first time in my life I am really feeling emotions. Its like 35 years of bottled up emotions are rising up to the surface. I go to the therapist and I talk about losing her and I start crying. IWell, I stop myself but I am able to cry. I didnt even cry when my father died. So something must be working, and I think that she may be a very important tool in this wheter she knows or not. If I can learn how to truly love, it will be with the help of her and I will never lose her. If I lose her and experience complete devastation I will have learned how to love and will be able to love again. I have been witholding joy as well as pain from myself for so long I need to experience them both. I am going to focus on working on my problems with my therapist and my relationship with her. I know its going to be a very tough job, but I am one of those guys who likes the hard jobs. You get better satisfaction. After all, I am a Marine and since when do they do the "smart" thing.