shezbut

I'm so sorry you didn't get to experience a true "friend"
You must have been/are a very kind hearted person and deserved kindness in return.

I can understand how it can hurt you to read about some others taking out their abuse towards innocent people..... maybe you relate to those innocent ones? I had an adult brother in-law that took his abuse experiences out on me(i was a child) and an adult sister that also took out her abuse anger on me The mother was horrifficly abusive to some toddlers and I find I "lose" self whenever I see/hear an extremely upset toddler-- just hurts too much.... have to disconnect with all.

I guess those that hurt us were doing what they learned as ways to "cope" with their own pain. (I hope that doesn't sound like I"m excusing them, I'm not-- just trying to help you and self to better understand) You learned to cope by putting the anguish on self while others learned to cope by putting anguish on others, or breaking things or setting fires, or doing drugs... etc... etc...

I hope you realize that you are a wonderful being and compassion, kindness and a life of peace are yours to have and to expect.

fins