lostinDC - I am sorry you are struggling with this right now. Do you think you can talk with your t about these feelings?

I am struggling with letting t in on the deep emotional parts of me because every time I've done that in RL I've been hurt or left. It's difficult. Some things that I find helpful in processing this: Even though I may form an emotional bond with t, she is not my friend. I don't pay my friends by the hour. I also try to keep the final goal in mind: that eventually I won't need t anymore. That can be very difficult - especially when I feel like t is the only one who will ever understand me. But in reality, that is the goal of my therapy. T is there to help me work through the issues to reach the goal of getting healthy and moving on.