Welcome, Sadeyes3533!

It is good you've reached out to this forum. Is your relationship with your family such that you could talk to one or more of them about how you are really feeling? Does your situation permit calling or talking to a doctor or counselor?

Crisis Resources

PsychCentral Help Me
PsychCentral's Suicide and Crisis links page
Online-Only Suicide Help
Doc John's Suicide Resources short list
Metanoia
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) - USA
Samaritans.org - UK & Republic of Ireland
Breathing Space Scotland
Crisis Centres in Canada interactive map
Lifeline Australia 13 11 14
New Zealand Helplines
Befrienders Worldwide - World-Wide Suicide & Crisis Hotlines
Suicide Prevention, Awareness, and Support
Kristin Brooks Hopeline – Get Help Now
Suicide Forum
Common Hotline Phone Numbers – by PsychCentral Staff; primarily US
Lynn P.’s Concise List of Crisis Advice