candybear, let me climb on board behind Septy, don't go. Send flowers. Your health needs are valid. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. Death is a biggy, but, not worth making yourself sick over.

If family members lean on you, just say, "I can't."period end.
If they don't understand, politely hang up. Like Dirty Harry said,"A man's got to know his limitations." Goes for us girls too. Sorry parts of your family have unrealistic expectations of you and your participation in family stuff. I can't keep up either...... You are not a loser for setting limits, heck, for me, that was when I started to win!