How stupid do I feel??? I actually got myself all happy and looking forward to tomorrow this morning. By 10.30/11am I had had confermation that no2 was going into respite care tomorrow (Friday) night and I was finally (after the last 2 weeks being cancelled) getting overnight access with no1. I was meant to be meeting the respite carers this afternoon and again tomorrow so that no2 could familiarise herself with the house and the carer and I could get to know them too. It helped also that the family has another child in care- a girl I was an 'unofficial' guardian for for a while last year (she is turning 17 this month). No2 knows her and she is great with the kids so I was feeling really confident. Then at 4pm I started worrying that I had not heard back about meeting with the carer. Just before 5pm my phone call was returned- all access arrangements cancelled... too bad. After even saying to my nurse this morning that it was 3rd time lucky, and building up all my hopes for a wonderful weekend it was all shattered. I reckon if I had 'really' believed there was a lull before the storm I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up so high, especially as everything was all go this morning. So now I am just sitting here feeling like I have run into a brick wall again and am just bashing my head repeatedly against it, but there is no hole being made...