You know whats strange, I often feel this way..I feel like I am living in absolutely no time...Im just existing and doing what the world requires of me while at the same time it carries no meaning whatsoever.

Sometimes to be real means to face horrible things....its easier to be unreal.

When I have flashbacks, and they are in front of people...It feels terribly isolating and I feel like Im a freak, so I end up feeling like all of this crap cant be real...the flashback, the world..its all just too much.

I think maybe what helps me is to express myself, to journal and write poetry, ...and therapy.

Its so hard to go through this alone. RA is something that numbs the mind and makes realities merge and fog....it hurts and its like falling down a neverending well.

Im so sorry you had to go through so much that has caused these reactions in you, but they are actually there to pretect you, from experiencing too much, I suppose.

Hang in there, if u ever need anything feel free to pm.