I agree with what said...the label isn't important. The man obviously has something very wrong with him, and you've done well by getting out.

As far as how he has been able to dupe his wife, I don't think it's quite as hard as you're making it to be, unfortunately. Based on what you've said about this guy, he's incredibly manipulative anyway, and seems to think steps ahead in order to cover his lie. Couple that with a job that requires time away from home anyway and the inherent trust typically given to a husband, I would guess he's playing off the circumstances of his job with his wife. That's only my guess though.

You certainly are not the problem here...if anything, I'd call you a victim to this guy's sick drives. People like that can be incredibly manipulative and...well, "smooth," for lack of better word. My only advice as far as the future goes is to be aware of signs like this in future partners, and insist upon protection.

I truly hate to ask this, and I beg your forgiveness if I offend...but you mentioned this guy has had partners "in the hundreds" and the sex was always unprotected...have you thought about getting...well, a check up, so to speak?

I am sorry this man has put you through what he has. I think you're making a great decision by leaving him and taking him to court for your money. We are here for you if you need us.