Hi I can definitely relate. When I have had a bout with depression, I went silent. I literally didn't have anything to say. (I am usually quite talkative to close friends / family but even then I had to say "I'm sorry I just don't have anything to say right now. I am feeling horrible".)

I also separated myself slowly but surely from everyone (my best, best(est) friend(s), family, society, etc.) With my close friends/family, I explained how miserable I was and asked them to please hang in there for me. I felt so bad...I honestly felt as though I had nothing inside. Nothing to give.

I also had some "good" days but for me, those were really the days that I was able to drag myself out of the house and "fake it" for a little bit. The pain was still there. It was just sort of quiet.

I think it's really important that you find a trusted person that you can speak with. Do you have a T? It's also great that you are here and are sharing and posting! There are wonderful people here that are quite supportive and have a lot to share, and also can relate.

Big hugs to you.