((((Abby))))
I understand where your coming from. I hated feeling anything I would always think "I would rather deal with no emotions, than have to put up with all the bad ones." I became very apathetic and distant. But when I talked to somebody IRL about my issues, it felt good. I don't know if it will help you, but I recommend talking to a counselor, family member, or other person about the swarm of emotions. My T really helped me understand my feelings.