As a child I wasn't allowed to be angry or express it, now I feel kind of stuck. I want the anger to go away, I'm sure that will take time. But what do you do with it in the mean time. I want a healthy way to deal with it, I don't want to end up resenting him and not being able to move past this. I guess I'm just really unsure how to process it. Any ideas ?

Ugh totally relate. I grew up in a similar type of environment and am just now learning how to identify, manage, deal with anger feelings (I had all sorts of ways to stuff it, hide it, mask it, run away from it, etc which didn't help me - even a little. or it was just a band-aid, so later on, the feelings would seep out any way).

I am not sure of your living situation or the depth of your relationship; however, this type of "indiscretion", especially with his cavalier attitude, would be (for me) terms for a separation (break, etc).

During that time, perhaps a little distance between you would help you to work through your feelings (organize, identify, write, talk to your T etc), and for him, a chance to think about things a bit.

I suspect you've expressed your boundaries before, non? And he acted out - again?
And he is fully aware that you are struggling with certain issues. Perhaps he just wasn't listening.

It's so important for him to see first hand (after trying) that you are serious about your feelings, & these actions were not acceptable to you and you weren't just giving lip service. Especially when he doesn't seem to really "get it".

I wish you all the best and hope you will be able to come to a resolution. You are so supportive, lovely and helpful in your posts.

Please let us know how you are doing.