hey, radioheadfan22. i am gay and was slow to come out. being lesbian/gay is more difficult in many ways. please do not be so hard on yourself. the age of 21 is still young. i don't think the problem is your virginity - it is just the symptom of your confusion and anxiety and being too hard on yourself. your anxiety is perfectly normal - everyone is nervous the first time they have sex! the important thing is meeting someone special who you have feelings for and want to get naked with. yes, it's a cause of anxiety but it's also a time of great excitement! and, i think you will enjoy it a lot!! so, please do not be so hard on yourself and, instead of focusing on the anxiety, put your focus on meeting someone special.